Nearly five years after one of the most high-profile divorces in modern philanthropy, Bill Gates is speaking more candidly than ever about the unraveling of his 27-year marriage to Melinda French Gates, and the choices that helped bring it to an end.
What was once whispered about in headlines is now being addressed in his own words.
The affairs that fractured their marriage:
During a recent town hall at the Gates Foundation, the Microsoft co-founder admitted to two extramarital affairs while married to Melinda.
“I did have affairs, one with a Russian bridge player who met me at bridge events, and one with a Russian nuclear physicist who I met through business activities,” he told staff, according to a recording reviewed by The Wall Street Journal.
The Wall Street Journal had previously identified the bridge player as Mila Antonova, reporting in 2023 that she met Gates around 2010 after moving to the Bay Area to work as a software engineer. At the time, Gates was 55 and Antonova was in her 20s.
© Getty ImagesThis was not the first public acknowledgment of infidelity. When the couple announced their split in May 2021, a spokesperson confirmed that Gates had engaged in an affair with a Microsoft employee “almost 20 years” earlier.
Pressed during a 2022 appearance on Today, he responded carefully. “I certainly made mistakes, and I take responsibility.” Melinda, notably, declined to answer for him. When asked on CBS Sunday Morning whether her ex-husband had multiple affairs, she replied pointedly, “Those are questions Bill needs to answer.” Now, he finally has.
Melinda’s reaction:
If Bill’s admissions are recent, Melinda’s reckoning began years earlier. In her new book, The Next Day, she reflects on what she calls “betrayals” in her marriage, a word she deliberately chose.
© GettyImagesIn an interview with People, when asked about that phrasing, she paused before saying, “You have to stay true to yourself always, right?” She writes candidly, “Bill has publicly acknowledged that he wasn’t always faithful to me,” while also referencing a “deeply disturbing” article about his meetings with a convicted sex offender, a development that compounded her distress at the time.
By late 2019, she describes being plagued by nightmares of a beautiful house collapsing around her. In another recurring vision, she, Bill, and their three children, Jennifer, Rory, and Phoebe, stood at the edge of a cliff before she suddenly plunged into the void.
© CBS via Getty ImagesThe symbolism was hard to ignore. In February 2020, she invited Bill on a trip to New Mexico, a trip she had originally planned to take alone. They stayed in a rental home that happened to be available because another couple had recently divorced. On the final night, she told him she wanted to begin living separately.
“It was one of the scariest conversations I’d ever had,” she writes, recalling that he was “sad and upset” but also “understanding and respectful.”
© GC ImagesOn May 3, 2021, after what she describes as a “grueling” and lengthy process, the pair publicly announced their divorce. As memes spread across the internet, she was at home with Phoebe, then 18. “We laughed a little, but I wasn’t really in a celebratory mood,” Melinda admits.
Despite the pain, she has framed the divorce as a turning point. Through her organization, Pivotal Ventures, she continues to direct billions toward advancing women and girls. “It takes courage forging a different life,” she told People. “When you change paths, you realize, oh, it’s a big opening.”
© The Image Direct/The Grosby GroupMeanwhile, Gates has since moved on with Paula Hurd, widow of former Oracle CEO Mark Hurd.
A controversial friendship:
Hovering over the final years of their marriage was Gates’ association Jeffrey Epstein, a relationship Melinda has made clear she was uneasy about.
“To give her credit, she was always kind of skeptical about the Epstein thing,” Gates admitted at the foundation town hall. Gates first met Epstein in 2011, three years after Epstein pleaded guilty in Florida.
© FilmMagicDespite that conviction, Gates maintained contact, traveling with him and spending time in New York, Germany, France, and Washington in 2014. He said he never stayed overnight at Epstein’s properties and never visited his private Caribbean island.
“I did nothing illicit. I saw nothing illicit,” Gates told foundation staff. “To be clear, I never spent any time with victims or the women around him.”
© GC ImagesHe also acknowledged the reputational damage. “It was a huge mistake to spend time with Epstein. I apologize to other people who are drawn into this because of the mistake that I made.”
In an earlier interview with The Wall Street Journal, he reflected bluntly, “In retrospect, I was foolish to spend any time with him.” Adding, “So yes, I think I was quite stupid. I thought it would help me with global health philanthropy. In fact, it failed to do that, it was just a huge mistake.”
© Getty Images for TIMEFor Melinda, the concerns were not abstract. She has written that by 2019, reports about those meetings had become impossible to ignore. The fractures in the marriage were already there. Epstein, by her own telling, was not the only issue, but he was part of a broader pattern she could no longer reconcile.
Today, the divorce stands as one of the most consequential splits in philanthropic history, not just financially, but personally. What was once a partnership that reshaped global health and education now lives in two separate legacies.
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