It’s long been said that men age better than women. But I beg to differ.
Ask any of my girlfriends in their fifties and sixties who are on dating apps, and they would laugh out loud at the suggestion. Most women I know take good care of themselves and are a real catch. What is coming up for them on the apps is a very different story.
One friend was telling us during dinner just how awful it is. She took out her phone and showed us scores of photos of men you would not want to meet in a dark alley.
They were such a motley lot, we were seriously shocked, but the overriding factor was how old they looked. Supposedly ranging from mid-fifties to mid-sixties, they looked a decade or two older.
These were most definitely not men who took care of themselves. Maybe because of the very fact that they were single and didn’t have a wife to organise their self-care?
Mentally ageing
Another area where I’m convinced that women have the edge when it comes to ageing is mentally. I believe that how we age mentally is as important as how we age physically.
Say HELLO! to your Second Act
HELLO!’s Second Act is a newsletter for women in midlife and beyond. It’s completely free to sign up and is a one-stop-shop for advice and inspiration on the issues our Second Act community have told us matter most: health, relationships, travel, menopause, divorce, careers, finance and more.
Living in the moment is key to engaging fully with life. Ruminating on the past and always talking about years gone by when we were at our peak is the opposite of living in the moment.
From my own observations, I find that men tend to live in the past more than women, and it’s a very ageing trait. We are here now, making memories at this very moment. I, myself, still feel very interested in what the future has to hold. I have ambition and excitement about work and the opportunities still to come.
The best example of living in the moment is Dame Joan Collins. I’ve known her for many years and she’s always fully in the present moment, living life with zest and crucially, always looking forward to the future. Something she still does at the age of 92.
Joan often has a new adventure, trip or job lined up and is one of the busiest people I know. She works regularly and has just finished starring in a film about Wallace Simpson, playing the lead as well as producing.
© Getty ImagesShe’s incredibly inspirational, and I believe her secret weapon is her mindset. She has a lot of energy, enjoys life and is always looking ahead.
Not giving up
Feeling youthful is also a question of knowing what you have to offer and not giving up on yourself.
Last year, I decided to engage the services of a businessman to help me take my website, Ageless, forward. I have very little business experience and wasn’t sure how to progress with it.
He was recommended by a friend and turned out to be a man of about my age. To my surprise, instead of advising and coming up with innovative ideas for Ageless, he strongly urged me not to bother with it anymore. His words were, “Let’s face it Glynis, you’re not getting any younger!”
He vigorously tried to talk to me into quitting and to come up with an entirely different kind of business where age wouldn’t matter. As much as I tried to explain to him that my age is an important factor with my site, and that health and beauty as we age are what Ageless is all about, he just couldn’t get it.
It felt like the classic ageism that’s applied to women and I couldn’t help wondering if he would’ve applied this thinking to his own career or to a man.
I’m happy to say there was no chance of my doing as he suggested, because I knew in my gut that he was wrong. His behaviour was a prime example of ageist thinking, believing that because you’re a certain age, you may as well give up.
The wonderful American self-help author, Mel Robbins, talks about this in her books. How we often think we’re too old to make new friends, to start a new business, to move to a new town and so on. And the question to ask is “why?” What’s stopping us doing any of that? The answer is, again, mindset.
My mindset allows me to see my age as a superpower, one to be harnessed by all women, one that comes from experience and resilience, and there’s nothing more pro-ageing than that.
Read the full article here
