When poet Donna Ashworth bounced into the Second Act podcast studio she was like a ray of sunshine, full of positivity and vitality.
The bestselling poet revealed she has finally, aged 50, managed to find ways to tweak her brain and lead a relatively peaceful life which, having suffered from anorexia and OCD, since she was a schoolgirl, feels like a massive feat.
It was a deeply personal chat and what she was keen to share was that being aware of the triggers that can lead into these conditions is the first step in getting help and taking back control of your busy mind.
By sharing her emotional story she hopes she will help others become aware earlier of potential issues that need to be dealt with, and then seek help before it spirals out of control.
With the rise in people getting easy access to weight loss jabs, Donna feels that, now more than ever, people who have suffered from anorexia are feeling vulnerable and triggered. She recommends assembling a tool box of tricks to help your mental health before things start to spiral.
“The first time it (anorexia) happened to me when I was 17, I did tackle it in a really wonderful way with alternative therapies and affirmations,” she told Ateh.
“But I didn’t go deep enough at that point, or I wasn’t old enough to quite fully grasp what that means. So therefore that caught me a few times in my 20s.
“I didn’t feed my body properly for a decade. I didn’t have a period for four years and at no point did I think to myself that it probably should be something that I address — because I was a workaholic.
“I was a perfectionist, you know, trying to run too fast on a treadmill, going absolutely nowhere. At the point at which I became too thin, suddenly everybody wants to tell you about it, and you convince yourself that they are trying to take something good away from you because they want it. You sink deeper and deeper into isolation. Nobody understands. It’s really, really tough.
“It is a worrying time as well in society for people who have recovered from eating disorders because of all the talk around GLP-1s and, you know, the accessibility of it, which is so wonderful in so many ways, but quite triggering for another portion of society. So these conversations are invaluable. You know, just sharing and putting a light on it. Because once you start talking about it, it doesn’t become a scary or is hush hush.”
She said getting a handle on her mental health will always be a work in progress, but learning the tools to ride the waves and be one step ahead of the curveballs is vital.
“The source of what caused my anorexia in the first place will always rear its head in my life, and I’ll always have to readjust it. You think there might be this place of nirvana that you reach, and you can see I’m cured. ‘I’m so well and so wise’. But it’s not a thing.
“Just as you can stabilise and find a bit of peace in life, life will throw another chapter at you and suddenly you fear being naked again. And you don’t have anything for this chapter because you just don’t know what’s going to turn on a sixpence in your life every single day. You have to be ready to keep readjusting it and resetting it and working on it, but always with that kind of peace at the core that this is normal.
“Nobody’s got it all sussed or perfect. So I just did trial and error until I was able to work so hard at accepting myself and trying to get the nutrition back in my body and love food again.
But you know, it was a rocky road, wasn’t smooth.”
How Donna keeps a positive mindset – as someone who “runs dark”
Meditation
“I went down a meditation route and it has changed me beyond. Three years ago when somebody said that to me, I might’ve been a bit like, ‘oh no, I don’t want to do meditation.’ If you’re neurodivergent and somebody asks you to sit still, you think you can’t.
Brain science
“Learn about the science of your brain and what chemicals are produced by what feelings, and how your thoughts work and how it interacts with your body. Because we’re not taught that.”
Tap into your RAS Filter
“One of my favorite mindset and brain tools is that you have a little filter in your brain called the Reticular Activating System (RAS) filter. And that filter decides what you will focus on every single day and every single day it wipes clean and starts again.
Oh, so it waits for you to wake up. And the first dozen thoughts that you have is what your ideas filter says. That’s what we’re focusing on today. That’s what we’re going to look for. That’s what we’re going to seek. That is what we are going to see. Because if you think about all the information that’s coming at us on a daily basis, you can’t filter it all.
“If you wake up and even if it’s false but you conjure the feeling it is going to be a good day, that’s important for the chemicals in your brain. Say, I’m awake. I’m alive. It’s another day on planet Earth. I’m so grateful. I’m grateful that I have a house. I am grateful I’m going to have a cup of coffee in a minute, and I am happy that cats exist. I’m seeking what’s the very best thing that could happen?
“And you have these little feelings about it. At the same time, you see all kinds of chemicals like oxytocin, like dopamine, serotonin in your brain. And then your brain goes ‘That is what we are seeking out today.’ You don’t even have to think about it anymore. I’ve got you, we’re on track.”
Awareness
“Awareness is everything and I don’t beat myself up. This is just part of the way my brain processes. OCD was just part of my life. I look back to my childhood and I had to walk to school every day and write the number plate of every car on the back of my teeth, forward and back, with my tongue, three times each time and turn the switches off in the house.
“I noticed it creeping back in here and there the last couple of years so I would be like, ‘oh, you’ve just checked that three times. What’s going on? Let’s get to the root.’ Let’s deal with the thing that you’re feeling anxious about. Have some lovely thoughts which are going to create some lovely chemicals. And let’s have a wee meditation and reset.”
Donna’s latest book Loss is out now
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