Harriet Kemsley on feeling ‘stronger’ after divorce and navigating dating as a single mum – exclusive

“It’s about how I’ve found myself not living the life I thought I would, so now I can decide everything. I never thought I’d get divorced. I thought I’d be married forever and now I’m not. It’s looking at something that I thought would be terrible but has actually led me to be the happiest I’ve ever been.”

“My parents would say I’m somebody that chaos happens to. I’ve always felt as though I’m someone who makes a lot of mistakes and there’s a lot of shame around it. But the more I embrace my mistakes and don’t get angry, I can find the joy in it.”

“Absolutely. I feel stronger. I never thought I would have been able to handle it, and I did. You get a real self-confidence from doing things yourself and listening to your gut.”

“It was crazy. It was as though I’d jumped into the future, because I missed the [dating] apps the first time around. I was in this completely new world and I had to learn so many lessons the hard way.

“I would chat to somebody and imagine them in my head and think: ‘This is my person.’ And then I’d turn up and they wouldn’t be who I had imagined. But in some ways, it’s refreshing, because you both know where you stand. You meet up to go on a date and can arrange it from home, which I prefer to going clubbing and being hopeful [of meeting someone].”

“It’s hard in lots of ways, but it’s also made it easier in others. It’s given me a bar when I’m dating that I never had before, because they have to be good enough for my daughter. I’m going to be modelling to her what a great relationship is, and how I’m treated will affect her life. So it’s made it much easier because I’m not tolerating any bad behaviour.

“Logistically, though, it’s harder, because I don’t ever want to give up a night when I could be with her to meet somebody new. I try to fit in dates when she’s with her dad so it doesn’t affect my time with her, which is the most important thing.”

“I don’t learn anything; I’m like a fish. I’d absolutely get married again, but I would be more particular about my choices. I try to protect myself, but I’m a romantic.”

“I’ve had to learn how to do it. You need to have some time away from it and have done some kind of healing, but I do think that what helps you to process something is talking about it. When you swallow things down and you’re made to feel shame about them and they live inside you, that’s the worst thing. I feel very lucky that I’ve been able to talk about things and connect with people through it.”

“I’d love to do more writing. I’d really love to write another TV show like Bobby & Harriet Get Married. That was one of the moments in my life where I felt most myself, in that space.”