If you have a dog, cat or any other pet, you’ve probably developed such a strong bond that the relationship can’t be called anything less than unconditional love. You suffer when you’re not by their side, you wonder if they’re okay when you leave them home alone, and you couldn’t feel happier and fulfilled than when you go for a walk with your pup or cuddle on the sofa with your kitten. Our fur babies give us some of the happiest moments of our lives, so it’s no wonder that many of us feel nothing less than adoration.
But, is it normal to love your pet more than people? Well, the short answer is yes, it can happen! But it’s not always healthy.
Studies support the love for our pets
Science is on the side of those of us who enjoy this special bond with our furry friends. In fact, a study published in the Society & Animal Journal reveals that some humans really do show a greater degree of empathy towards dogs than towards other people.
One of the reasons we experience this immense adoration – even more than for our fellow human beings – is our search for, you guessed it, unconditional love. As psychologist and canine trainer Vanesa Carral, co-director of Spain’s Dogtor Animal centre, explains, this feeling that bonds us with our pets is a reaction to that tireless need for the pure, unlimited love humans crave.
Our animal companions – unlike most humans – will always love us no matter what stage of life or situation we’re in, whether we’re successful or we’ve failed, whether we love being social or we prefer being alone. And, of course, they will always be with us, no matter what we look like.
We perceive animals as innocent beings who need our protection and care, not unlike children. What’s more, when we’re responsible for caring for a pet, the brain actually secretes oxytocin, the same hormone that is stimulated when we love someone. Essentially, our brains don’t discriminate between the type of love we feel for pets vs people.
There are so many benefits to sharing our lives with a pet. One of the fundamental ones is feeling accompanied, needed and loved, which helps free us from feelings of loneliness. Pets also sometimes trigger physical changes in our bodies that give our health a boost, from reducing our blood pressure, to helping us relax, as they provide us with both joy and a sense of well-being.
© Getty ImagesThe psychology of pet love: When does preference become problematic?
All of that said, is it normal to love our dog more than people? According to psychologist Rafael San Román, it depends on what we consider “normal”.
“People have very diverse personalities and develop their affection in very different ways. That’s why some develop a very special relationship with their pets – these animals satisfy their psychological needs in a way that other people cannot.”
The psychology expert explains that love for animals is healthy and that humans should relate to them in a positive way. However, if your love for animals becomes pathological, it’s no longer a case of ‘love’ but something else, such as obsession.
© DRAKULA IMAGESWe’re naturally designed to relate to beings of the same species, so San Román warns that if you prefer the company of your pet to people, and find that you can’t interact with other human beings, you should try to figure out why. “If you love your dog more than other people, you might have some difficulty with social skills,” the specialist explains.
The expert likewise stresses that while a relationship with animals is great, and often necessary, it’s important to develop social skills even if you’re a natural introvert. If you lack social skills and self-isolate, it could indicate an underlying disorder – particularly if you struggle to establish meaningful relationships or manage everyday social interactions.
Note that loving your pet above all else is likely only a problem if you have such difficulty or conflict when interacting with human beings that you isolate yourself. Don’t worry if you’re your cat or dog’s biggest fan, as long as you still know how to maintain healthy relationships with other humans, too.
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