Michelle Obama is offering a masterclass in relationship patience, and she’s not mincing words. Speaking on her “IMO” podcast with her brother Craig Robinson on Tuesday, February 10, the former first lady, 62, urged couples to slow down before taking big steps, like moving in together.
“If it’s early in the relationship, you shouldn’t be moving in,” she told listeners. “I don’t care how much money he has or doesn’t have… you don’t know him yet.”
Her advice is simple but firm. Real love, she says, grows with time. “It takes time to fully know, to have somebody reveal themselves to you over time, to know whether or not your affections and feelings stand the test of time,” Michelle explained. She added, “My recommendation is always take some time. Make moving in like way down the line.”
© Getty ImagesFor Michelle, this isn’t just theoretical advice, it’s deeply personal. In a candid conversation last month on the “Call Her Daddy” podcast with host Alex Cooper, she shared that it wasn’t love at first sight when she met Barack Obama, 64.
The former first lady recalled that she initially didn’t see “potential” in the future president because she knew him as her colleague. Despite thinking he was “cute,” she started out seeing him as a peer, not a romantic interest.
© Randy HolmesWhat drew her in, she said, was being able to stay true to herself. “It was one of the things that drew me to him. I didn’t have to change my fundamental self,” Michelle said.
Their slow-burn romance eventually led to a two-year courtship, followed by a one-year engagement. Michelle’s experience clearly informs her advice: relationships benefit from patience and careful observation before jumping into cohabitation.
© Tom WilliamsMichelle’s comments come amid ongoing curiosity about her own marriage. The couple, who wed in 1992, faced divorce rumors last year when Barack was spotted out without Michelle. She addressed the speculation in a June 2025 interview on NPR’s “Wild Card” podcast, shutting down gossip with characteristic wit.
“The fact that people don’t see me going out on a date with my husband sparks rumors of the end of our marriage,” she said. “It’s like, ‘OK, so we don’t Instagram every minute of our lives.’ We are 60. We’re 60, y’all. You just are not gonna know what we’re doing every minute of the day.”
© YURI GRIPASHer reflections highlight a broader truth. Relationships are built on understanding, authenticity, and time-tested love, not social media snapshots or rushed commitments.
Michelle’s advice is also practical. Moving in together should be a thoughtful decision, not a leap based on infatuation or financial security. “Make moving in like way down the line,” she reiterated, emphasizing that early cohabitation can cloud the true dynamics of a relationship.
For couples navigating early-stage relationships, Michelle’s counsel is clear. Take your time, know each other, and don’t let money or the pressure to rush dictate your next move.
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