Shawn Mendes took a moment during his For Friends and Family Tour at Colorado’s Red Rocks Amphitheatre to address his evolving understanding of identity and love. He has spoken about and even sang about this topic in his track “The Mountain,” which he has debuted at recent shows and tackles these introspective themes directly.
“Some days, I have a change of heart / You can say what you need to say,” he sings. “You can say I’m too young / You can say I’m too old / You can say I like girls or boys / Whatever fits your mold.”
The song’s lyrics resonated deeply with fans, mainly as Mendes addressed the conversation about his sexuality, a persistent topic throughout his career. “Since I was really young, there’s been this thing about my sexuality, and people have been talking about it for so long,” he shared. “I think it’s kind of silly because I think sexuality is such a beautifully complex thing, and it’s so hard to just put into boxes.”
Mendes explained how these conversations have felt invasive and noted how his understanding of himself is still evolving. “It always felt like such an intrusion on something very personal to me, something that I was figuring out in myself, something that I had yet to discover, and still have yet to discover,” he added. Mendes said he’s “speaking freely now” to foster a connection with his audience.
“The real truth about my life and my sexuality is that, man, I’m just figuring it out like everyone. I don’t really know sometimes, and I know other times,” Mendes continued, noting the challenges of self-discovery in a society that is often quick to label. “I’m trying to be really brave and just allow myself to be a human and feel things. And that’s all I really want to say about that for now.”
© Pascal Le SegretainIn addition to addressing his identity, Mendes spoke candidly about his thoughts on relationships. Reflecting on the societal expectation to find “The One,” he remarked, “When you’re single, there’s this pressure of looking for ‘The One,’ who’s ‘The One?’… Damn that’s a lot of pressure to put on someone when you first start dating.” He encouraged a more relaxed approach to romance, expressing his intention to enjoy love and connection without the weight of long-term expectations. “Man, we all need a little bit of cuddling, a little bit of hugging,” he added before transitioning into his song “In Between.”
Mendes’ vulnerability on stage adds a new chapter to a conversation he first opened up about in 2020 on Dax Shepard’s “Armchair Expert” podcast, where he discussed his frustrations around rumors about his sexuality. Mendes explained the complexities of responding to such scrutiny, especially with close friends still grappling with their identities. “It’s such a tricky thing,” he told Shepard then. “You want to say, ‘I’m not gay, but it’d be fine if I was gay — but also there’s nothing wrong with being gay, but I’m not.’ You don’t really know how to respond to the situation.”
He is ‘afraid’ to share his ‘truth’
In 2022, he took to social media to admit he was struggling to share his truth. “Sometimes, I ask myself what it is that I should be doing with my life, and what I always hear in return is ‘to tell the truth, to be the truth.’ I feel like that’s a hard thing to do, though,” he began.
© Getty ImagesAccording to the singer, he is concerned about people’s perception of him. “I’m afraid that if people know and see the truth, they might think less of me. They might become bored of me. So in those moments of feeling low, I either put on a show or hide,” he added.
Camila Cabello’s ex-boyfriend said he “constantly feels like [he’s] either flying or drowning.” Mendes also wonders if more people experience the same thing. “The truth is I really do wanna show up in the world as my 100% true, honest, unique self and not care what anyone thinks. Sometimes, I do!!” he wrote. Sometimes, I really don’t care what people think, and I feel free. Most of the time, though, it’s a struggle.”
The singer said he was “okay” and hoped his words “resonate with some people.”
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