“I’m way more capable than I thought I was because I used to be so afraid of doing everything,” the former Olympic track cyclist Victoria Pendleton says. “But over the years I’ve realised I have more to offer, and I like myself a little bit more.” It’s that wisdom that Victoria, 45, brings to her new book, The Fear Opportunity, which offers tips and insights from experts on how to increase your confidence and decrease anxiety by reframing your relationship with fear.
“I was really surprised how generous the experts were with their time, and they really helped give the book a sense of authority,” she says. Victoria retired from cycling after a triumphant London 2012 Summer Olympics, in which she earned three medals – two gold and one silver. She also received a CBE in the 2013 honours list.
Victoria lifts one of her gold medals at London 2012
She decided to try something new and retrained as a jockey, placing fifth at the Foxhunter Chase at Cheltenham Festival in 2016 despite having had no previous experience.
In 2018 – the year she and Scott Gardner, a former Team GB sports scientist, divorced after ten years together – she fell into severe depression, including thoughts of suicide, following an abandoned attempt to climb Mount Everest. She recovered with the help of surfing and exercise and is now a patron of The Wave Project, a charity that uses “surf therapy” to improve mental health.
She is now in a relationship with Louis Tinsley, whom she met while filming Celebrity SAS: Who Dares Wins in 2019. In 2023, she announced the death of her adored twin brother Alex at the age of 42 from cancer.
Here, Victoria discusses why she is always up for a challenge, why she attempted to climb Everest and whether she wants to return to cycling.
Victoria, why did you want to write this book now?
“After my brother passed away, I didn’t know what to do. I was questioning the choices I made post-retirement and it got me thinking about why I feel so compelled to take on challenges.
“One of the big parts of it came back to the fact that, being brought up with a twin brother, I’ve always had someone by my side which gave me a sense of fearlessness. I wanted to capture what that gave me.”
Do you wish you’d had a book like this when you were starting out in cycling?
“100%. It would be so lovely to know the things I know now. I had a lot of worries and concerns which were beyond my control and weren’t worth the time and energy. I wish I could have found ways to manage those better.”
You love taking on challenges, including training as a jockey and climbing Everest. What makes you say yes to them?
“Even if I don’t necessarily feel skilled at it, I think, ‘Well, I’m going to give it my best shot.’ It’s something I’ve developed over the years, to be less worried about the consequences and more confident with just believing that whatever I end up delivering will be enough, because I’m going to give it my best.
“I secretly have something inside me which is that, if someone says you can’t do it, I want to prove them wrong. I think it probably comes from my dad but also from being a twin and feeling that anything he can do, I can do better.”
You have said you were disappointed that you didn’t win three golds at the Olympics in 2012. How do you view your cycling success now?
“Looking back, I am so fortunate to have achieved what I did. It was way more than I could have dreamt of as a child. The opportunities I’ve been given and the rewards I’ve received from my cycling career have allowed me to have the most extraordinary existence, which I am very privileged to have.
“For that reason, I can only look back and feel satisfied and pleased. Also, only one person can win a gold medal – and I’ve already got two, so let’s not be greedy about it.”
In 2018, you attempted to climb Mount Everest but quit on medical advice. Why did you want to attempt it?
“I was definitely running away from my home scenario, doing something that made me feel myself, which is focusing on a challenge and putting the blinkers on.
“I was running towards a place that gave me that sense of who I am, rather than addressing the fact that things weren’t great at home, and I was going through a divorce – all those things deserved time and space, but I didn’t allow that to happen.”
You lost your twin brother, Alex, in June 2023. How are you coping with that?
“There’s not a day that goes past that I don’t think about him. I love him and I miss him and I tell him I miss him almost every day.
“One of the hardest things was the fact that I realised when anything amazing happened to me, he was the first person I would tell and he would be equally excited. He was the most reliable person to dust me off and encourage me forward and I really miss that.
“I feel privileged to have had that for 42 years, because some people never experience that in their life.”
How is your mental health these days?
“I think when you lose people very close to you, it makes you appreciate the things you have rather than always searching for the next thing. That’s definitely changed my mindset overall.
“I’m not saying I don’t have down moments, because I do, but I think I recognise it sooner.”
What do you do to relax?
“I’m renovating a property and that’s been very time-consuming. I’m a fair-weather cyclist and I tend to mountain bike in the woods slowly and leisurely. I must admit I can’t imagine my life without cycling and horses, but I enjoy them both as hobbies.”
